Beloved Doll

Latest But Maybe Not the Greatest

Beloved Doll / May 15, 2013 / No comments

As always, there is quite a bit going on. Where to start?

Bad news first.

Spike has passed away and quite suddenly, too. I had always expected Willow to be the one to go since she’s going to be six years old in July of this year whereas Spike was very active and only about two years old. Esuna and I came home from work and I found Spike dead in his food bowl. We have no idea what happened, only a handful of theories.

Speaking of Willow, she hasn’t been doing so hot either. She now has lost complete ability to walk and now scoots around on her side. To help keep her from relieving all over herself due to pooling on a hard surface, I have changed her bedding in to using spare towels I have. They will absorb the moisture to help direct it away from.

She has also been downgraded to a cat carrier since she doesn’t need all the extra space she can’t get to. I also now hold her up so she can drink her water and she can still manage eating crunchy food, however, I want to shift her to canned cat food to make it easier for her.

Sucks that hedgehogs have such short life spans…

My job hunt is still going, close to hitting three years now and still to no avail. I came across this post today: Why Employers Aren’t Filling Their Open Jobs from the HBR Blog Network. Although it is just further proof that the methods of getting a job have changed drastically from what it used to be. What used to work 20 years ago does not work any more.

Now for some happier things!

Esuna and I finally experimented with candle making. We did our first batch with some ivory beeswax and started the melting process from the wax we acquired from the beehives we maintain. The results are that they came out decent for our first run. I plan on having photos posted hopefully soon of the results.

Work is continuing with starting my own business. At least the initial stuff is done. It’s legal. Next step is the bank account and tax accountant after that. I’m still working on building up stock. Copyrights will need to be done. Website work is continuing.

Speaking of which, while I’m working on programming the website for the business, I’m also simultaneously working on a few projects. I completed a book cover a while back. The book is called “Lost in Oblivion” and can be purchased from Barnes and Noble. I am also currently working on a logo for Esuna’s new band Shadow Sentry, the name inspired by one of my alicorn characters.

Annnnnnnd can’t forget that I have a new baby blanket order to work on. The cool thing is even though it is two blankets, one of them was mostly done when the order came in so it won’t take me as long as it normally would.

Lots to do so back to work for me.

Category: General Blog /

New Bees But new Problems

Beloved Doll / May 6, 2013 / No comments

We acquired five new colonies, yay!

For those who missed out the previous post, we lost five hives. So we got five new colonies to replace them and then all five of those perished a week later. Now we have five new hives. Are we finally under way? Not quite.

The new Elizabee colony came with a dead queen. One of the colonies on the farm had a queen but the bees all took off.

Esuna took the abandoned queen and placed her in the Elizabee hive. We hope the colony will accept her. If that goes well, then we will only be down one hive. We wanted to go out today to see how the progress is going with the queen swap but it has been raining all day and it has been below 50 degrees. These are less than ideal conditions for opening the hives so rather than risk the health of the entire hive, we will see how tomorrow’s weather pans out.

Cross your fingers for Elizabee!!

Category: Blog /

All the Buzz – Five Packages of Bees

Beloved Doll / April 17, 2013 / 2 comments

So we have been extremely busy with the beekeeping this spring season. Whew! I can’t even begin to talk about what we have been doing without getting tired.

Esuna and I acquire five new packages of bees. Four are to go to the farm to replace the four that perished while the fifth one goes to our back yard to replace the one hive there. (Elizabee seemed to have just flown off, there are no bodies that we have found. On the farm, however, hive invasion got so bad that the hives died out.)

We took some photos of the new packages:

Photo by Esuna

On the way home in the truck

On the kitchen counter

Still on the kitchen counter

In the exercise room

We had them in their packages, sitting in our exercise room for about a week. The day the packages came in from our local supplier, it was snowing. Obviously that is far too cold to try and hive the bees. The coming days were awful chilly, too. Not to mention that even if it were warm enough, by the time Esuna and I finally got out from our day jobs, it would be too late in the day to try and make the trip to the farm. So, the bees stayed in those boxes for about a week.

We finally could hive all five packages the following saturday. All five hives seemed to be all right for a few days. But by the next saturday, all five hives perished. The bodies littered around the area at the farm with only a handful of bees barely alive between the four hives. In all five hives, the bees never released their queens.

Hard lesson learned: don’t leave the bees in their packages for very long. Although we were at the mercy of the forces of nature, staying in their boxes has definitely caused some damage to the bees.

This was a huge disappointment and a big set back. Double whammy knowing that the honey bees are struggling as it is.

Esuna ordered five new packages of honey bees and they are due to arrive in early May so we can give this another try now that the snow nonsense has finally stopped.

He also wants to plant more flowers around on both the back yard and at the farm for the bees. We formulated a list of a handful of different flowers to start with after Esuna had been nosing around in his Beekeepers Bible book. I’m not exactly known for having a green thumb so we’ll see how that goes. The biggest thing is getting the new honey bee colonies established and for them to survive.

Category: Photos /

My Girl Chapter 1

Beloved Doll / March 17, 2013 / No comments

It was the start of a new school year. The students groaned as they made their way inside the building. Summer vacation was great, why did it have to end so quickly? Their only consolation is that their friends would be having classes with them.

As per usual, Amy was clinging on to Sonic’s arm. He seemed indifferent now that their relationship was very slowly growing. At least he wasn’t pushing her away anymore.

Sonic was a senior at the school this year while Amy was a sophmore. Their friends were in various levels depending on their age. While Rouge was a senior, Silver was a sophmore like Amy. Blaze was in junior and Knuckles and Shade were both seniors. Tails, Cream and Charmy were still in elementary school.

Every student headed for their home room classes for the morning. This would be where they would acquire their class schedules for the semester. Amy was bummed out as Sonic had a seperate home room from her but maybe they would have some classes together. She took a seat at one of the desks and watched everyone walking in to the room to see if any of her friends would be sharing home room with her.

First person she recognized that walked in was Shadow. Amy wasn’t exactly friends with him. She respected him but everyone always had a hard time getting close to him. It was like he built a wall around himself to keep everyone out. Amy didn’t like how the dark one would get into fights with her Sonic all the time. Whenever that would happen, the both of them would get pretty beat up. Come to think of it, Shadow would get into fights with other students quite a lot. Thankfully, Sonic is tough enough to handle him. Most other students weren’t so lucky. At least Shadow tended to not go after any of the girls, they were considered pretty safe around him. Amy huffed softly, must be that male dominance thing…

Shadow took a seat at one of the desks and proceeded to exhibit his disinterested facial expression. No surprise there, Amy closed her eyes half way.

A few more students came in but Amy didn’t recognize any of them. It wasn’t until the last student came in did Amy finally see someone else she knew. Maria. Amy perked up and waved to her, “Hey, Maria!”

Maria smiled and walked over to Amy, “Good morning, Amy.”

Shadow turned around a little in his seat, looking in the direction of the two girls. Though it was just one he was interested in. He spent all of last year watching her from afar, thinking about her. He had known her since elementary school. He always thought of her as a very sweet girl as he observed her kindness to others. Never had he ever seen her yell at someone or use swear words.

Shadow watched Maria as she sat down next to Amy and the girls started chatting. He began to regret never getting the courage to go to Maria’s house during the summer. He knew where she lived but he would always back out at the last moment. What if she rejected him? Frankly he didn’t know what she thought of him. Surely she had heard of him getting detentions frequently for fighting in school. Some girls liked boys that fought frequently and others didn’t. Which one was Maria?

Maria is only fifteen years old but she excels in her classes so much that she got bumped up a year ahead. She was a junior this year, a year behind Shadow. This would be Shadow’s last year in school.

He bumped his fist down on his desk with determination. It wasn’t loud enough to attract any attention. Looking down at his desk, Shadow mentally decided that he must approach Maria. She wasn’t going to stay single forever. He just had to get her to be his girlfriend before some other guy would snatch her up.

Shadow tried to be discreet in looking at Maria again. He couldn’t blame other guys for wanting Maria. He thought she was a very cute girl. Shadow would humour himself with the thought that perhaps this blonde has casted a spell on him as he was so enamoured with her.

He looked down at his desk again. Yes, this was going to be his last chance…

The bell rang.

The teacher proceeded to hand out papers to each student. The paper contianed the class schedule and also locker information. When the two girls got their papers, they compared their schedules. Amy and Maria find that they have a couple classes together and also the same lunch period. Amy squealed with delight that she will have lunch with at leats one friend. Maria was delighted as well. She bore a sweet smile.

That was another thing Shadow liked about her. Her smile. He couldn’t help but have a small smile of his own at seeing her smile.

His thoughts were interrupted when the teacher dropped the paper on his desk. Shadow’s smile instantly disappeared. He sighed quietly and picked the paper up to check his own schedule. He was too far away to see what Maria’s schedule was so he isn’t sure of how his compared. The best he could hope for was for them to have the same lunch period.

After all of the papers were distributed out, the teacher stood in front of the class and began talking of some things. Things that Shadow didn’t pay attention to as his mind was elsewhere.

The bell rang again and all of the students were released to check out their lockers and go to their first class. Amy and Maria were thrilled to see their lockers were almost right next to each other. Amy grabbed Maria’s hands and bounced with glee and let out a girly squeal, “Oh my gosh this is great! We’re so close together! Only one locker between us!”

Maria was less animated but felt equally excited. She had a large smile as she watched her friend jump up and down, “I bet this is going to be a great year!”

“Yeah!”

Amy released Maria’s hands and began to work the combination on her locker. She let out a victorious “ah ha!” when the locker easily popped open. Maria smiled and turned to her locker to begin working on the combination.

Shadow’s own locker was a ways away from the girls but he didn’t bother going to it. He figured he would deal with it later. Instead he trailed behind the girls and his mind raced with trying to figure out what he could say to Maria to break the ice. He lifted his head up when he heard Maria grunting.

Maria was sure she put the combination in correctly but for some reason the locker would not open. She tried putting in extra force in to sliding the latch up but that wasn’t working either. Maria stopped, looking at her locker in defeat, “Oh no…I can’t open it…”

Suddenly Shadow’s fist pounded on the locker door a couple of times and voila! The locker door swung open. At first Maria looked at the locker with surprise. Then she turned to Shadow who was standing beside her.

Throughout the years she had known him, Maria always thought of Shadow as a pretty cute boy. His red eyes were quite unique and she always liked his black hair with red streaks. His asian skin colour was unusual in the area, too. The style of clothing he wore seemed to match his personality, too. Rarely has she heard him speak but when he did, his deep voice was always nice to listen to. He did have a reputation of always getting into fights though…

Maria shyly reached her hand up and moved some of her golden blonde hair from her face. Her blue eyes looked right up to his red eyes and she gave him a gentle smile. But this wasn’t the same kind of smile she was seen giving everyone else. This one was different. Shadow hadn’t seen Maria give anyone this kind of smile before. Very sweetly, Maria said, “Thank you, Shadow.”

He couldn’t really explain it but Shadow did love hearing Maria say his name. In response, he gave her a cool smile and a quick wink, “Sometimes you just need to use a little force.”

Maria smiled sweetly at Shadow again.

Amy decided to join in the conversation, “Hey Shadow, which lunch period do you have?”

Shadow pulled up his paper to look at it, “Lunch B.”

Amy smiled cheerfully, “What a small world! Me and Maria have Lunch B, too!”

It was at this time that Amy’s other friends were approaching. Blaze, Silver and Sonic came over to Amy and Maria, eager to compare schedules. While they were all occupied with that, Shadow snuck a peek at Maria’s schedule over her shoulder, though he tried to make it appear he was being disinterested. It looked like that in addition to the same lunch period there were two classes that Shadow would have with Maria.

He quickly turned his head as everyone started moving around again. It was time to move on to the first class of the day.

Category: Shadow the Hedgehog - My Girl /

Recourse Thirty Six

Beloved Doll / March 16, 2013 / No comments

Music has been playing through the mp3 player for some time now. The volume is kept from getting too loud and disrupting any conversation they would have. The genre seems mixed, keeping a distance from the more harsh types, most likely because he isn’t sure of how she would feel about them even though he enjoys them.

The sun is starting to set, signaling that night is just around the corner. Shadow and Maria are still on the highway at this time. There’s still some distance yet to go. They already stopped at a place to get a meal for their dinner. It isn’t clear if it’s because of the coming darkness, or if it’s because of the monotonous of the highway, or even both…But Maria is growing a little tired. Out the corner of his eye, Shadow notices Maria stirring a little in her seat. She does her best to stretch her legs and she makes a small noise as she does so. Then as her legs settle down, she allows her head to turn to the side and she leans back against the seat. Looks like she is setting herself up for a nap.

Shadow turns his head to her direction, as if needing confirmation that Maria is getting tired. Then he looks back to the road. Finally, he speaks,”Maria…If you’re tired, you can lay in the back seat. It will be a while still before we get there.”

Maria softly answers,”All right.”

Maria unhooks her seat belt and squeezes between the two front seats to get to the back seat. She sets the messenger bag down on the floor of the car. Then she lays down along top of the whole back seat and wraps the blanket up around herself, snuggling into it. She sighs softly and contently.

Shadow sneaks a peek at her via the rear view mirror before his eyes return back to the road ahead. He keeps the volume of the music low as it was before to not disturb the sleeping Maria.

It has been perhaps an hour or hour and a half. The sun sets fully and now the sky is dark. Shadow looks up to the rear view mirror again to see Maria still asleep on the backseat. Then as he looks back to the road, the car suddenly feels different, as if it’s loosing power. Shadow directs the car to pull over to the shoulder of the highway then slows it down to a stop, putting it in park. Shadow reaches down and pulls the lever that pops the hood after turning the car off. He gets out of the car and shuts the door behind him.

The sound of the car door closing wakes Maria. She sleepily opens her eyes and yawns. With her hand covered by the blanket, she gives her eye a bit of a rubbing. Then she sits up, noticing that the car isn’t moving. Maria moves up to the window and looks around outside for any clues as to what’s going on. Then she sees Shadow coming out from behind the car’s open hood.

He walks down the length of the car side but then stops by the window, seeing Maria there. Shadow turns himself at an angle towards Maria, looking down at her. Her facial expression shows that she is a little worried about what’s going on. Showing his own facial expressions have always been difficult for Shadow, so he does the next best thing he can think of.

Shadow raises his right hand up and places the palm of it against the glass of the window. Like he wants, Maria reciprocates, placing her own hand up on the window glass in the mirrored place where his hand is. Once the hands and fingers are aligned, Maria brings a smile to her face as she looks to Shadow.

A few moments are given before Shadow slowly pulls his hand away, feeling that he has reassured Maria that everything will be just fine. Maria keeps her hand in place as she watches Shadow walk away to the trunk of the car. It isn’t until the trunk is open before she removes her hand from the window. Shadow walks back to the hood of the car with a toolbox. Maria settles back down in the seat with her blanket. She patiently waits and listens to the sounds of Shadow making some kind of replacement to the car engine. Unfortunately, Maria knows nothing about cars so she is unable to even guess what the problem could be. But she is confident that Shadow can fix it.

A few cars whip past them on the highway. Maria listens to their sounds as her blue eyes travel to the hood of the car where Shadow is working. Her lips draw to a small smile and she snuggles herself a little more into the blanket.

Without warning, the car hood gets slammed shut. The sound startles Maria and she makes a small squeak sound. Shadow carries his toolbox back to the trunk of the car and then closes the trunk. Finally, Shadow gets back in the car and sits in the driver’s seat. He starts up the car. The engine roars to life.

Shadow takes a moment to turn around to the back seat, looking to Maria. He finds her looking back at him with the same gentle smile she always gives him. He can’t help but give her a smile back. His arm reaches back and fishes Maria’s hand out from under the blanket. He brings her hand closer to himself and kisses the back of her hand. This causes Maria to get a little flustered. She makes a tiny, almost inaudible sound, tilts her head down though still looking at Shadow. Her face also acquires a more pinkish colour. Shadow gives her another smile before slowly releasing her hand.

The dark one turns back to the steering wheel, secures his seat belt and begins to drive again, moving the car back on the highway. His female companion in the back seat brings her arm back under the blanket and nestles down. Her smile widens a little more, thinking about the kiss on her hand she just received.

It’s another hour or two before the both of them arrive at their destination.

The Mystic Ruins had a hotel built as tourism seems ot be picking up in the area. It has a water front view for the guests who stay. Inside, it also has a cafeteria for the guests to have the meals at. The building itself is fairly tall, making use of ten floors with about twenty five rooms on each floor. The hotel finds itself having more and more guests stay each year as the Mystic Ruins gains in popularity.

By the time they arrive, Shadow finds that Maria has fallen asleep in the back seat again. He gets a little concerned at her sleeping so much today. Is she getting sick again? He will have to keep a close eye on her.

The black monte carlo pulls up in to a parking spot. Then the lights go out and the engine becomes silent. Shadow steps outside the car and shuts the driver’s side door behind him. He comes to the back seat and opens the door.

Then he leans inside the car and first gets the messenger bag slung on. Next, Shadow works his arms underneath the sleeping blonde and carefully brings her out of the car, doing his best to avoid hitting her against the car. Once she is finally out of the car, Shadow takes a moment to readjust Maria so that he is holding her bridal style. His foot pushes the door shut.

Inside the hotel, there are a few clerks working the front desk. It’s still early enough in the evening where activity is somewhat high. Other people are coming in to get a room as well. Some people are traveling with their families thus they have children with them. One little girl who is standing with her mother and father at the front desk, looks up at Shadow and Maria with her index finger tip in her mouth. She finds fascination watching the two of them. She’s too young to really who Shadow is and what his reputation holds. What seems to be holding her attention is that Shadow is carrying someone in his arms.

Shadow gets the key card from the front desk then carries Maria up to their room.

Category: Sonic the Human: Recourse /

Bee Hives Covered in the March 2013 Snow

Beloved Doll / March 8, 2013 / No comments

So as the snow fell here a couple days ago, the bee hives got covered up pretty good, too. The snow has just about completely melted since but it did make for an interesting photo of the two hives. Check it out:

Click to full view

Category: Photos /

DIY Clothes Rack

Beloved Doll / March 6, 2013 / No comments

So while continuing my research marathon on some things (read: random), I came across a blog post on another website that I thought had a pretty good idea, especially in these yuck economy times.

The blog is called “Four by Two” and this page shows you how to make a clothes rack out of pvc pipes. Hanging It Up: DIY Dress Up Clothes Rack.

Once it’s finished, it doesn’t look half bad!

Is this something you could use?

Category: General Blog /

Latest Crafts

Beloved Doll / February 9, 2013 / No comments

It’s that time again, to show the latest of the crafting projects that I made. All of the following projects are available to purchase from my etsy shop, AnimatedDoll. Now then, on to the goodies! Be forewarned, it’s a long list as I have been busy and have a lot to catch up on.

Japanese Trinket Box Black Bamboo Jewelry Box Small Storage

Made with plastic canvas, this trinket box is decorated with a Japanese style bamboo and lettering. The Japanese lettering, kanji, says “black bamboo.” Underside of the top lid has a black fabric sewn on to keep the small jewelry box clean and nice. This small storage box can be used to store jewelry, small toys, beads, or any other small item of your choosing.

I decided to start making these as it seems like there are many jewelers around. Those jewelry pieces need to go somewhere! I’ve seen other plastic canvas pieces here where the artist doesn’t make the inside very nice and were kind of lazy about it. So that was something I wanted to tackle and show that plastic canvas can make nice pieces and look wonderful. Plastic canvas creations are very under appreciated! Available here.

Gothic Necklace Black and Gold Round 15 inches Goth Jewelry

I wanted to continue adding to my goth designs and expanding that line so I made a necklace with black and gold beads. It would be perfect for the Renaissance Goth who likes classy designs. Available here.

Japanese Style Glass Jewelry Asian Black and Pink Swirled Necklace 15 inches

This beautiful jewelry piece is a glass necklace with small black balls and larger translucent balls that have little pink swirls in them that almost resemble roses. The style of the necklace reminds me of the Japanese / Asian decor. This Japanese style black and pink swirl glass necklace will match with many styles of ensembles, such as classy, goth, rocker, formal and other attire. Available here.

Mens Hand Knitted Infinity Scarf Neckwarmer for Men Marble Colour Winter Wrap Charcoal Grey Gray

This long infinity scarf for men is hand knitted (no machine!) with tweed stripes yarn. The yarn has various colours of grey / gray mixed in for an interesting mix of shades, keeping the infinity scarf from looking flat. Scarf can be easily wrapped around the neck twice for bulk and volume to keep warm against the chilly winter air. Perfect for men and teenage boys.

Infinity scarf has been stitched using the stockinette stitch so it naturally rolls up for a unique look. Available here.

Blue Paw Prints Hedgebag Sleeping Bag for Hedgehogs and Other Small Animals Critter Blanket

Hedgebags are small, little sleeping bags for hedgehogs which can also be used for other small animals. Your pet will curl up inside the hedgehog and take a nap while you hold them in your lap or carry them around with you.

The outside is a blue fabric with black little paw prints all over while the inside is lined with curdory to give the bag a little extra strength against any digging your pet may do while using their critter blanket. Available here.

Knitted Scarf – Twilight Sparkle Inspired My Little Pony Special Edition 6in x 5ft

If this project looks familiar, it should. It’s a remake as the other scarf was sold and I took the opportunity to update the photos with nicer and cleaner photos. This is a special edition as the materials are more expensive than the regular ones. Available here.

Knitted Scarf – Pinkie Pie Inspired My Little Pony 6in x 5ft

Just like the last one, this one is a remake of the previous version that got sold. The new photo looks much better than the last one so I’m quite happy to being bale to display this pink scarf nicer. Available here.

Knitted Scarf Rainbow Dash Inspired My Little Pony 6 inches by 6 feet

Inspired by Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony, this scarf will make you 20% cooler while staying warm. Any fan of rainbows and/or My Little Pony is sure to love this piece! Hand made (no machine!) with acrylic yarn, the blue body is reminiscent of Rainbow Dash’s coat colour and the rainbow palette fringe resembles her hair. The rainbow design is chain stitched on the scarf for a nice accent of her cutie mark. Available here.

Bonbon Scarf Fringless 6 inches by 4 feet Hand Knitted Winter Wrap

While the world is covered in white, you’ll be sporting some fun, bright colours!

This scarf is hand knitted, no machine. It will keep you nice and warm against the cold, frigid winds while providing you with a sense of life amidst all the quiet of winter. It’s fringeless so it doesn’t have any “dangly” parts hanging off the ends. Available here.

Bonbon Doll Scarf Hand Knitted 3/4 inch by 10 inches Winter Wrap Doll Accessory Clothes

This little doll accessory is hand knitted (no machine!) and is just perfect for just about any doll. Though this scarf is being modeled by Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony, the scarf can also be used for other dolls such as Barbie, Bratz, Monster High, Moxie Girls, etc. Available here.

Throw Blanket Hand Knitted Spring Afghan 2 feet by 3 feet Seaspray Ombre Baby Afghan

Spring time is nearly here and it’s time to freshen up your home with some spring colours!

This Seaspray Ombre throw blanket is hand knitted (no machine!) with acrylic yarn which is perfect for machine washing and for frequent handling. Throw this spring afghan over your lap for extra warmth, use it to keep your baby warm from the night chill or use it to decorate your home by laying it out on top of your bed or over your couch. Available here.

Valentine’s Day Themed Pot Holders Set of Six 7.5 inches x 7.5 inches Hand Knitted Kitchen Trivet Red Pink White

Bring some love to your kitchen with this set of Valentine’s Day pot holders. Red, pink and white are the colours of choice to bring about a sense of passion and lighting up the kitchen. These pot holders can help you pick up hot pots and bowls while also being able to protect your table from damage from all the heat. Available here.

Which one was your favourite from today’s list?

Category: Crafting /

Pursuing Happiness Part 1

Beloved Doll / January 27, 2013 / No comments

One wouldn’t think of a goth wanting to search for happiness but where’s the rule that says we can’t? I just watched another documentary about happiness last night and spending a lot of time thinking about my life situation got me thinking…Why must I wait for certain circumstances to happen before I can be happy?

In these documentaries, you see people with leaky roofs and living a poverish lifestyle and yet they are happier than those in first world countries, such as the United States. And yet, places such as the US are quite unhappy. Japan has apparently been listed at the most unhappy country in the world. The people spend so much time working they are literally working themselves to death, being called karoshi. They miss out on a lot in life, however short it is. To add salt to open wound, all that overtime is going unpaid.

There definitely seems to be this cycle of working many hours at a job to pay for things you spend most of your time being away from. From the documentaries I have seen, that trend is common with people who are unhappy, regardless of your income level.

The formula for happiness is different for every person. For example, one person may find quiet, alone time to be joyous for them whereas another person may find having large social gatherings on a regular basis to be their joy. Whatever it is, the things that really make people happy and give them happy lives are often things that are free.

Does this mean that bought objects can’t make a person happy? Not necessarily. It is true that buying an object can bring momentary happiness but it usually can’t make the happiness last for long. Thus why some cases of hoarders exist: some will buy in excess to continuously experience that momentarily happiness.

So, I’m going to do the best I can to find my own happiness. I hope that this series in some way will inspire others to do the same for themselves and that also keeping a track record will help keep me on track in this goal.

First off, I’ll start with listing one thing in my life that has me very unhappy: unstable environments. I cannot explain just how bad living in an unstable environment has gotten me so…unhappy. All I will say is that I got to the point of deep depression and attempted suicide.

Not cool.

When I began knitting again, it seemed to have lifted my spirits up enough where I started having a different perspective. Being depressed was always a struggle for me but I was never near this bad with it. What changed? My environment. I’m being exposed to people who are messed up, with various other things I don’t want to discuss at the moment…

So I have decided that since that aspect is what’s making me the most unhappy, that is what I’ll tackle first as my big goal. This includes at home and at work.

I have already been submitting my resume and applications to various places. Still getting rejection letters. A sign of the times I guess, two and a half years applying and I can’t even get a second part time in the traditional world. At least I’m still trying. This is for the work end of things.

For home, I’m mainly am stuck waiting on Esuna. He is working on clearing up some debts (yay! shackle-removal!) which will open up more possibilities of where we can move to and what we can afford. I’m perfectly fine with just doing a rental as it just takes too much money to try and buy a house and I want out of here ASAP!!! Esuna flips between renting and buying. So we’ll see what ends up happening. He has made the goal of moving out for this year. Hoping he’ll stick to it, I’m scrounging what I can to save up for the moving out fund.

Even with just rental, you still need a couple month’s rent ready to go right away and money to have movers take care of the furniture moving for you.